|Rebound this, asshole.
||[Dec. 2nd, 2003|11:56 pm]
chronicles of a serial dater
I know I said rebounds can be helpful. Even important. But this is a fucking joke. |
So I met someone recently. I was rather intoxicated at the time, I don't remember much of the conversation, but from what I do recall, it seemed alright. I didn't do anything hideous that night which qualifies him as an acceptable candidate. (That means that I don't like the fellas that put up with my naughty side, they're either masochists, or assholes, either way: no go.)
So we talk on the phone a bit. Never very good timing, so I didn't really know who the hell I was talking to, Until Tonight! Jeeez!!! This fucking kid. Tells me he doesn't want to break up anymore. He just wants open (!!!), loving, relationships.
What the hell is open? The way I see open is you sleep with other people. Giving each other gonorrhea is not a loving relationship! Ok, fine, he's a fucking hippie. But it gets worse. He thinks every person is a religion. Super. And your body is a temple. Fantastic. Doesn't drink coffee. Great. Doesn't drink alcohol much either. Ya, we're a match. Went to music school. Always a good sign. Has some unidentifiable corporate job, but continues to be in a band. In a band!!
See, here's my whole thing. Its kind of shallow and lame, but its a fucking rebound!!! Its supposed to be. If it wasn't I'd call it something else. All these things are good for, as far as I'm concerned, is a few fun outings. I want to wear my pretty new coat and go to a neat place I've never been before with someone pretty and quiet, and not pay. Thats fucking it!And it doesn't take Prince Charming. Pretty, quiet, car, money. And really, I'm not so particular about personalities and insides and whatever the fuck, because I don't want to know these people. I don't want them to know me. I just need them to distract me for a bit, and let me fucking masturbate without getting sad.
But this fucking guy!!! I can't even deal with his hippieness enough for this simple task. He's that fucking .. hippie.
This whole being an unmotivated piece of crap is alright. I'm used to it. But the open-barefoot-armpit hair-vegetarian-new age bullshit about relationships, this I cannot do.
Sure, fidelity isn't my strong suit. But that doesn't mean I don't strive for it. I'm not just going to give up and be a free loving woodstock whore. Oh no! I am going to try, and fail, and feel like a bad person. As every good samaritan should.
Maybe I'm just being uptight. Maybe the word "spiritual" makes me cringe. Maybe I don't relate well to non-smokers. Maybe I'm being too serious about this whole thing, after all, a rebound could very well be someone you could never see yourself with.
But then, in the throes of self-doubt, I remember,
HE DRIVES A VW BUS!
Fucking smelly hippie.
He thinks that attachment is what causes conflict in relationships. Attachment as in versus devotion. Devotion is good. Attachment is bad. Am I missing something, or does that not make very much sense? This lack of "attachment" leading to "openness" really doesn't float my boat. I want attachment. I don't really want openness at all. Openness sounds a lot like being single to me. And if I'm going to be single I don't want some fig eating flower child being devoted to me.
This conversation just kept getting progressively worse. Every new thing he said was hippier than the last. I finally excused myself to nurse my friend sleeping on my floor, refusing water and coffee for his lack of sobriety.
No musicians! Damnit. And maybe I'm getting too set in my ways, but these kind of unconventional romantic ideals just don't fascinate me as much as they did six years ago. Now they just sound like codified excuses for cheating.
Ah well, maybe I'll just skip the rebound this time.