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chronicles of a serial dater

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Welcome to stalker country. [Dec. 4th, 2003|06:37 pm]
chronicles of a serial dater
Its been a couple of weeks now. And overall, I'm doing fine. I'm not so sad now, I'm not sad at all actually. But I miss him so much. And I'm just stuck in my ex box. Can't say anything, can't do anything. Everything I could do from my box would only seem pathetic and desperate. Not good words.
And I'm thinking, maybe if I could just run into him somewhere. Maybe we could talk, maybe I could behave, maybe I could say something really good to change his mind. If it was accidental, or seemingly so, it wouldn't be so ugly and pitiful.
I could go for a stroll. A stroll around his neighborhood. I could get a cup of coffee. At his coffee shop. Maybe I could stop by where he works. Maybe take my friends to the bar.
But what the hell can I say to him? What could I do? Even if I did talk him into some sort of reconciliation, where would that leave me? It would leave me the one that kisses, and doesn't get kissed. [someone said that in a relationship, there's always the one that kisses, and the one that gets kissed] It wouldn't be equal footing at all. There would always be guilt, and history, and probably a good amount of bitterness.
I can't stop thinking about him.