|Holidays are such shit.
||[Dec. 26th, 2003|01:23 pm]
chronicles of a serial dater
They really make you feel like ass. And when I say "you" I mean "you lonely poor bastard sitting around with your crap happy friends and family in passive aggressive hell remembering all the things you've done wrong." Yeah, sucks to be you, eh?|
Well, enough about you. No one came here to hear about that, this is all about ME. Thanks.
I see this in movies a lot, and I think its true. Sad girls want to fuck. Sometimes they do other things, like talking about it, overeating themselves out of their clothes and their dignity, cutting their imaginary lover's face into their skin.. blah blah blah. But really, what they want to do is fuck. Its the easiest source of temporary affection available to a woman. [Crazy? you say... no, absolutely not... what? ... well fuck you too!!]
Sad sex isn't the worst possible sex that can be had. Pity sex is much worse. Sad sex is pretty bad though. It would be alright if it never ended. Because thats the worst part, when you get up. Maybe use a strange bathroom with scary blue lighting. Go home. Stay there. Maybe its someone you know, maybe its a complete stranger.
Either way, its really fucking crappy having to get up when its over. I think it might make the sadness worse. Once you're not paying attention to your body anymore the suffocating mass of crap stuck in your skull just looms larger. Sex makes it grow, particularly sad sex.
If your head is so screwed up that you think having sex with someone is going to shut your brain up and make you a normal person at least for the duration... then you might not want to have sex at all. And get your damn head straight.
Easier said than done, I'd say. Sometimes its just easier to believe that someone could love you if you just spend enough time on your back. Sometimes you need to let yourself believe for even a teeny bit that someone likes being there with you.
But ultimately you know its not true. You know its not "healthy." You know you're supposed to be a self-respecting, selective, intelligent [god help you] person. You know sex better wait.
So wash that sad fuck off of yourself and put some make up on. Its time you take a step forward. You're past the days of gothic sex in your parents basement. Its time for can't see his face under the baseball cap and would rather not anyway, maybe your drink was spiked, god, why does the couch smell like that, drunk sex.
Growing pains, eh?