|Don't forget to distract yourself.
||[Nov. 16th, 2003|11:10 pm]
chronicles of a serial dater
Distractions are very important. Especially in the beginning. You never want to leave yourself too much time to muse over why you were dumped, what inadequacies of yours led your lover astray, what psychological insight they might have had, despite your well practiced guise. These things are best left unknown. Maybe later on, when you are happily sweaty with another, you can look back on this and pluck out the pearl of wisdom that will make you a better human being, and a better partner. But absolutely not now. Forget all about it. If they left you because you are completely screwed up, then so be it. And so be it for a while. |
Lord help the next one.
Meanwhile, since you are finding yourself with some extra time on your hands, previously occupied by the deserting party, you might want to pick up some extracurricular activities.
$65.98 at Barnes & Noble.
The Alchemist $13.00
Perks of Being a Wallflower $13.00
Identity: A Novel $13.00
Hey Nostradamus! $21.95
Plus tax. These are all short, and will take up about a day each. I doubt I will be purchasing more books, $65.98 for Christ's sake!(I dont know if you noticed, but all of the above follow a theme, right of passage, soul searching, and I just happen to really like Douglas Coupland and read whatever he writes) so I will next venture to explore the library for books about adolescents and sociopaths. I heard Fountainhead was good.
Another important note as far as distractions go, be very selective about the music you are listening to during this tender time. Do not listen to anything, absolutely anything, that has anything to do with love, loss, relationships, or has the word "baby" in it (the last one is a general rule of thumb you should follow anyway). I realize this rules out a huge chunk of your listening pleasure. So if I may suggest some appropriate distraction music: The Ramones usually won't let you down, unless you explore some sneaky B-sides (so don't), Junior Senior is a pretty safe bet, you don't really listen to the words anyway, Freddy Fresh is completely safe, if you are a woman you might try L7 and Le Tigre, but beware this may make you angry and aggressive, eat sedatives during listening sessions, Ursula 1000 rarely hints at romantic themes and when it does its relatively easy not to notice, Wheatus's version of love is by no means daunting to a broken heart (or ego), The Flinstones soundtrack is uplifting and cheerful, The Bloodhound Gang, if you don't know, you might not want to try this, Lionrock and Bentley Rhythm Ace have very little lyrics and a quick beat that prevents your mind from wandering, and really, thats about it. You can't listen to anything else. Because music, especially radio music, serves to trigger memories and emotions that make you want to purchase things, and feel lonely and overweight, and all together become incapable of overcoming trivial partings. Trust me. Do as I say.
Also, if you can, stay away from TV. Especially commercials. We all know they are the root of all evil. Enough said.
But the internet is a good distraction tool. As you know, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this. Do this, write things, write hateful things about the one that wronged you, post pictures of them in compromising positions, shame their families. Its fun. It helps.
I also think that it is very important to get out of your house. What the hell do you think you're going to do there? Stare at the stains on your sheets and cry? Don't do that. Go out somewhere. Buy things that you don't need (I purchased a mug, and I can't even tell you how happy it makes me, really!) But when you are outside in the world, don't look at couples and get sad. Throw things at them. Taunt them. Because you are superior and no mortal is worthy of your love. And if you run into people that you know, but don't like, don't tell them what happened to you. They will only make it worse with their horrible "I'm so sorry that you suck, and I'm better than you" face, not to mention devious advice and hardly hidden glee at your disadvantageous situation. Come to think of it, taunt them too. And throw things. When you are sad, take it out on others. Its all their fault. They hoarded all of the happiness originally allotted to you. Punish them.
If all else fails, drink yourself silly and hope that the part of your brain that hates you and makes you feel bad about yourself for not being able to keep anyone interested in you long enough to develop an efficient sex rhythm dies.